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Saturday, March 11, 2006

Google search for “Maltese” produced interesting results

I recently did a Google search for fellow Maltese Compatriots, Ex-patriates and Exiles (what can I say, I’m a terribly lonely f**ked up excommunicated Catholic part-Maltese sexual deviant) and after typing in “Maltese”, came up with thousands of links to…Cutting Edge Technology? Superlative Services? Competitive Clothing Industries? Oldest Temples in the World? Amazing Siege? World War II? George Cross for Bravery? Forget it! They were almost all links to sites about “MALTESE DOGS”! No, they were not referring to local government. Key phrases like “of good disposition”, “loyal and devoted to the hand that feeds it” were dead give-aways since these are not expressions commonly used to describe local government. Descriptive expressions that are commonly used cannot be aired before kid’s bedtime.
Quite frankly, I think this breed, the Maltese Dog, should be listed as Afghans That Got Shrunk In The Wash. I frequently observe Sunday Strollers on the Promenade with these minute furballs attached to a leash and ask myself, what the hell is the point? Wanna dog? Then get the real thing. A dog that looks like a domesticated squirrel isn’t the real thing! Get an illustrated dictionary, idiot! You want something
that fits neatly in your lap and makes you feel loved?Buy a willy-warmer! (Get some from this chap - since he apparently modelled for the Luqa Roundabout Phallic Monument, dont order anything less than extra-large; you can also get sheep-skin lined ones here)
The Maltese take their religion seriously - they even have a Confirmation ceremony for their dogs. Actually these dogs do reflect many attributes of the Maltese people: plenty of facial hair, vertically challenged (i.e. short), very loud for their size.....oh and adorable (when they get their way).
Out Loud And Proud says: "If you're not living in the fast lane, you're taking up too much space!"

# posted by C.S.Lawrence : 10:32 PM
Comments:
I was not on Xarabank last Friday. I think you have mistaken me with somebody else who admittedly modelled for the monument.
# posted by Blogger Coemgen : 2:39 PM
 
LOL..hey boy watchca doing denying being the model!?!? too modest fer yer own good!c'mom i givin' ya cedit on blogworld!Dont mess up my reputation as reliable reference eh?
# posted by Blogger C.S.Lawrence : 8:34 PM
 
Okay okay, it's not for the credit in blogworld but just coz I don't wanna mess up ur reputation! The momument (or rather, shall we call it a miniature model?!) is a close resemblance.
Is that better with you maam?
# posted by Blogger Coemgen : 12:24 AM
 
I might add to the bitching if I could actually figure out what was going on! I'm a slow study. But, fortunately, blogs go on.
# posted by Blogger Ron Southern : 2:05 AM
 
http://picblognoporn.blogspot.com/2006/02/okay.html

Ron, basically this is the subject.....and don't feel unfortunate for not living in Malta, you're not missing anything.
# posted by Blogger Coemgen : 8:38 AM
 
I went to Malta on holiday as a kid. It was fantastic. Nothing to do there, but they hated the germans and treat the Brits like their own.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10:03 PM
 
noooo Steve..surely not! Maltese are the happiest people in Europe *smirk*(academic evidence in my post "Maltese are Such Happy Campers"). If they still hate the Germans there must be a lot of hate going on cos Germans comprise a huge chunk of tourists visiting Malta...altho' probably now surpassed by Swede students learning Brit lingo and Russian mafia!
# posted by Blogger C.S.Lawrence : 12:55 PM
 
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Google search for “Maltese” produced interesting results
I recently did a Google search for fellow Maltese Compatriots, Ex-patriates and Exiles (what can I say, I’m a terribly lonely f**ked up excommunicated Catholic part-Maltese sexual deviant) and after typing in “Maltese”, came up with thousands of links to…Cutting Edge Technology? Superlative Services? Competitive Clothing Industries? Oldest Temples in the World? Amazing Siege? World War II? George Cross for Bravery? Forget it! They were almost all links to sites about “MALTESE DOGS”! No, they were not referring to local government. Key phrases like “of good disposition”, “loyal and devoted to the hand that feeds it” were dead give-aways since these are not expressions commonly used to describe local government. Descriptive expressions that are commonly used cannot be aired before kid’s bedtime.
Quite frankly, I think this breed, the Maltese Dog, should be listed as Afghans That Got Shrunk In The Wash. I frequently observe Sunday Strollers on the Promenade with these minute furballs attached to a leash and ask myself, what the hell is the point? Wanna dog? Then get the real thing. A dog that looks like a domesticated squirrel isn’t the real thing! Get an illustrated dictionary, idiot! You want something
that fits neatly in your lap and makes you feel loved?Buy a willy-warmer! (Get some from this chap - since he apparently modelled for the Luqa Roundabout Phallic Monument, dont order anything less than extra-large; you can also get sheep-skin lined ones here)
The Maltese take their religion seriously - they even have a Confirmation ceremony for their dogs. Actually these dogs do reflect many attributes of the Maltese people: plenty of facial hair, vertically challenged (i.e. short), very loud for their size.....oh and adorable (when they get their way).
Out Loud And Proud says: "If you're not living in the fast lane, you're taking up too much space!"

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