Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Mother of All Buggers
Mr. Sodding Saddam was quite nifty at coining catchy phrases, his most famous being "Mother of All Battles". But he's had his 15 minutes of fame (more like 15 years of Infamy) and this blog has nothing to do with him. This blog is inspired by a bit of info I spotted in the scroll bar on the BBC World news channel this morning (which I always watch while having my system-kickstart cuppa coffee and ciggie which alerts my body to the fact that its 7 hours to detox while I was doing the horizontal zizz is up and now its back to toxic business as usual. My health regime is a nutritionist's nightmare but dang, I dont harf keep my brain well fed! I can just hear 'em squeaky clean nutritionists lecturing that nicotine prevents oxygen from reaching the brain which blah blah blah...HEY! smoking doesnt affect my brain cos it doesnt run on oxygen- its drip-fed on Nitrous Oxide aka Laughing Gas which explains why I appear to find so much about life funny).
Anyhow, the news item went something like this: "The US Government claims that bugging American citizens without court approval is legal and necessary". Well blow me away...all this time I was under the impression that the constitution of a democracy stipulates the inalienable civic right to privacy, freedom of speech etc etc. Aha! but the US Guvmint has declared war on terrorism so American society's normal peacetime civic rights have to be scrapped and rewritten (not a monumental task - it merely requires inserting a NOT in front of every civic rights statement).
I wonder whats on every CIA Bugging Operative's list of Suspected Terrorist-ish Language. Words like bomb, Bush, attack, Bush, kill, Bush, Allahu Akbar, Bush, hijack...etc? (Of course we all know terrorists arent so dumb as to use those words - besides maybe Allahu Akbar and SOB Bush- in their communiques but the CIA cant afford to rule anything out-well wouldnt you be overly sensitive if you were the world's laughing stock because you had dismissed/ignored/overlooked blindingly overt tip-offs to some terrorist plot being hatched?). But can you just imagine how the CIA "Terrorist-ish Language Detect-o-meter" would go beserk if it was monitoring communications in Malta! Agent Triple X Stacy (who doesnt speak Maltese) is tapping Maltacom's lines and hears the following conversation:
".....Madonna! Kemm hi bomba dik il-mara! Vera Bomba! Nahseb they're size 38DD......blah blah blah... ghat hekk ?(pronounced att-ekk) .....insomma, immoru Pikapizza later....mhux ghax ghandi l'guh ....jien kilt hobs b'zejt....." ----"OHMYGOD! INFORM COMMANDER BUSH! Sir, this is Agent Triple X Stacy, I have intercepted a suspicious dialogue...yes sir, already 3 strikes on my Detect-o-meter...bomb...attack...killed.... and I think their new code word for Mr. President is HOPSBIZZET"
(transliteration of dialogue: Madonna! how amazing/fantastic that woman is...truly amazing/fantastic! I reckon they're size 38DD...blah blah blah...I said that?!..anyhow lets go to Pikapizza later ...I'm not hungry ...I ate a bread with olive oil snack)
=========================
Note from Editor: the above dialogue is completely fictitious and should not under any circumstances be taken as scientific proof that Maltese males only talk about women with big tits and food. They do talk about other things....like football...and shagging women with big tits (not necessarily in that order).
Another note from Editor: Fafblogger has a posted a great Q & A dialogue about His Omnipotent Bushness on this matter
Mother of All Buggers
Mr. Sodding Saddam was quite nifty at coining catchy phrases, his most famous being "Mother of All Battles". But he's had his 15 minutes of fame (more like 15 years of Infamy) and this blog has nothing to do with him. This blog is inspired by a bit of info I spotted in the scroll bar on the BBC World news channel this morning (which I always watch while having my system-kickstart cuppa coffee and ciggie which alerts my body to the fact that its 7 hours to detox while I was doing the horizontal zizz is up and now its back to toxic business as usual. My health regime is a nutritionist's nightmare but dang, I dont harf keep my brain well fed! I can just hear 'em squeaky clean nutritionists lecturing that nicotine prevents oxygen from reaching the brain which blah blah blah...HEY! smoking doesnt affect my brain cos it doesnt run on oxygen- its drip-fed on Nitrous Oxide aka Laughing Gas which explains why I appear to find so much about life funny).Anyhow, the news item went something like this: "The US Government claims that bugging American citizens without court approval is legal and necessary". Well blow me away...all this time I was under the impression that the constitution of a democracy stipulates the inalienable civic right to privacy, freedom of speech etc etc. Aha! but the US Guvmint has declared war on terrorism so American society's normal peacetime civic rights have to be scrapped and rewritten (not a monumental task - it merely requires inserting a NOT in front of every civic rights statement).
I wonder whats on every CIA Bugging Operative's list of Suspected Terrorist-ish Language. Words like bomb, Bush, attack, Bush, kill, Bush, Allahu Akbar, Bush, hijack...etc? (Of course we all know terrorists arent so dumb as to use those words - besides maybe Allahu Akbar and SOB Bush- in their communiques but the CIA cant afford to rule anything out-well wouldnt you be overly sensitive if you were the world's laughing stock because you had dismissed/ignored/overlooked blindingly overt tip-offs to some terrorist plot being hatched?). But can you just imagine how the CIA "Terrorist-ish Language Detect-o-meter" would go beserk if it was monitoring communications in Malta! Agent Triple X Stacy (who doesnt speak Maltese) is tapping Maltacom's lines and hears the following conversation:
".....Madonna! Kemm hi bomba dik il-mara! Vera Bomba! Nahseb they're size 38DD......blah blah blah... ghat hekk ?(pronounced att-ekk) .....insomma, immoru Pikapizza later....mhux ghax ghandi l'guh ....jien kilt hobs b'zejt....." ----"OHMYGOD! INFORM COMMANDER BUSH! Sir, this is Agent Triple X Stacy, I have intercepted a suspicious dialogue...yes sir, already 3 strikes on my Detect-o-meter...bomb...attack...killed.... and I think their new code word for Mr. President is HOPSBIZZET"
(transliteration of dialogue: Madonna! how amazing/fantastic that woman is...truly amazing/fantastic! I reckon they're size 38DD...blah blah blah...I said that?!..anyhow lets go to Pikapizza later ...I'm not hungry ...I ate a bread with olive oil snack)
=========================
Note from Editor: the above dialogue is completely fictitious and should not under any circumstances be taken as scientific proof that Maltese males only talk about women with big tits and food. They do talk about other things....like football...and shagging women with big tits (not necessarily in that order).
Another note from Editor: Fafblogger has a posted a great Q & A dialogue about His Omnipotent Bushness on this matter
# posted by C.S.Lawrence : 12:21 PM
Anyhow, the news item went something like this: "The US Government claims that bugging American citizens without court approval is legal and necessary". Well blow me away...all this time I was under the impression that the constitution of a democracy stipulates the inalienable civic right to privacy, freedom of speech etc etc. Aha! but the US Guvmint has declared war on terrorism so American society's normal peacetime civic rights have to be scrapped and rewritten (not a monumental task - it merely requires inserting a NOT in front of every civic rights statement).
I wonder whats on every CIA Bugging Operative's list of Suspected Terrorist-ish Language. Words like bomb, Bush, attack, Bush, kill, Bush, Allahu Akbar, Bush, hijack...etc? (Of course we all know terrorists arent so dumb as to use those words - besides maybe Allahu Akbar and SOB Bush- in their communiques but the CIA cant afford to rule anything out-well wouldnt you be overly sensitive if you were the world's laughing stock because you had dismissed/ignored/overlooked blindingly overt tip-offs to some terrorist plot being hatched?). But can you just imagine how the CIA "Terrorist-ish Language Detect-o-meter" would go beserk if it was monitoring communications in Malta! Agent Triple X Stacy (who doesnt speak Maltese) is tapping Maltacom's lines and hears the following conversation:
".....Madonna! Kemm hi bomba dik il-mara! Vera Bomba! Nahseb they're size 38DD......blah blah blah... ghat hekk ?(pronounced att-ekk) .....insomma, immoru Pikapizza later....mhux ghax ghandi l'guh ....jien kilt hobs b'zejt....." ----"OHMYGOD! INFORM COMMANDER BUSH! Sir, this is Agent Triple X Stacy, I have intercepted a suspicious dialogue...yes sir, already 3 strikes on my Detect-o-meter...bomb...attack...killed.... and I think their new code word for Mr. President is HOPSBIZZET"
(transliteration of dialogue: Madonna! how amazing/fantastic that woman is...truly amazing/fantastic! I reckon they're size 38DD...blah blah blah...I said that?!..anyhow lets go to Pikapizza later ...I'm not hungry ...I ate a bread with olive oil snack)
=========================
Note from Editor: the above dialogue is completely fictitious and should not under any circumstances be taken as scientific proof that Maltese males only talk about women with big tits and food. They do talk about other things....like football...and shagging women with big tits (not necessarily in that order).
Another note from Editor: Fafblogger has a posted a great Q & A dialogue about His Omnipotent Bushness on this matter
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