Thursday, February 16, 2006
Dear Blogod (My new Agony Aunt column)
Dear Blogod, (or is that Brrreeeport?)It feels like I don’t exist unless I’m noticed. *sniff* As if everyone else in the world is only there to act as mirrors to verify my existence.
*sniff * That means in my world no-one is expendable. Definitely a world worth subscribing to, wouldn’t you say? I need EVERYONE and that gives EVERYONE a purpose for living, perhaps not to their liking but certainly to mine: to certify that I exist. Egocentric perhaps, but it’s a good start, apart from selling all my earthly assets (amphibious sofa and all!) to pay for a university education in Big Bang physics.
I sometimes can’t help thinking *sniff* I might be just an idea scribbled in the margin of a scriptwriter’s dialogue. Filed under Optional Ending and sent to the studios; the storyboard artist writes back: “Please Reconsider!”. This one’s too Kamikaze. It wont sell, its too weird – apply for funding from independent movie studios…like the al-Qaeda Media Network. If they’re too busy filming “Danish Cartoonist Meets His Maker” , well.. you’re fucked. Time to switch themes: try doing “Teletubbies: Second Generation”. Might get WeightWatchers to sponsor.
Which triggers a tangential thought: I’ve read much ado about Buddhism in my quest for finding a balance in my life (anything to forego reducing my alcoholic intake) and I’m left wondering: how come Buddha is the ultimate in Spiritually Centred symbology? Is my happiness at the bottom of a family-sized portion of Bangers 'n Mash? Must I eat my way to spiritual fulfillment? No wonder I’ve been so unbalanced since puberty…I’ve sold myself to the myriad Dietary Deiticians who promise the path to feelgood is through culinary abstinence. Rosemary Conley, Dr. Atkins etc., YOU are the false prophets! Fuck off and go skimp on that Rich Chocolate Devil’s Cake, you poor sods! I’m gonna get into desserts like there’s no tomorrow (and considering today’s predictions that’s entirely possible).Suddenly, I feel alive, thinking of chocolate, independent of any other person’s verification. Is chocolate the answer to my vitality deficiency?
My "Give Us This Day Our Daily Gin" quote: LIFE IS TOO SHORT! EAT DESSERT FIRST!
# posted by C.S.Lawrence : 10:55 AM
Dear Blogod, (or is that Brrreeeport?)It feels like I don’t exist unless I’m noticed. *sniff* As if everyone else in the world is only there to act as mirrors to verify my existence.
*sniff * That means in my world no-one is expendable. Definitely a world worth subscribing to, wouldn’t you say? I need EVERYONE and that gives EVERYONE a purpose for living, perhaps not to their liking but certainly to mine: to certify that I exist. Egocentric perhaps, but it’s a good start, apart from selling all my earthly assets (amphibious sofa and all!) to pay for a university education in Big Bang physics.
I sometimes can’t help thinking *sniff* I might be just an idea scribbled in the margin of a scriptwriter’s dialogue. Filed under Optional Ending and sent to the studios; the storyboard artist writes back: “Please Reconsider!”. This one’s too Kamikaze. It wont sell, its too weird – apply for funding from independent movie studios…like the al-Qaeda Media Network. If they’re too busy filming “Danish Cartoonist Meets His Maker” , well.. you’re fucked. Time to switch themes: try doing “Teletubbies: Second Generation”. Might get WeightWatchers to sponsor.
Which triggers a tangential thought: I’ve read much ado about Buddhism in my quest for finding a balance in my life (anything to forego reducing my alcoholic intake) and I’m left wondering: how come Buddha is the ultimate in Spiritually Centred symbology? Is my happiness at the bottom of a family-sized portion of Bangers 'n Mash? Must I eat my way to spiritual fulfillment? No wonder I’ve been so unbalanced since puberty…I’ve sold myself to the myriad Dietary Deiticians who promise the path to feelgood is through culinary abstinence. Rosemary Conley, Dr. Atkins etc., YOU are the false prophets! Fuck off and go skimp on that Rich Chocolate Devil’s Cake, you poor sods! I’m gonna get into desserts like there’s no tomorrow (and considering today’s predictions that’s entirely possible).Suddenly, I feel alive, thinking of chocolate, independent of any other person’s verification. Is chocolate the answer to my vitality deficiency?
My "Give Us This Day Our Daily Gin" quote: LIFE IS TOO SHORT! EAT DESSERT FIRST!
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