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Thursday, January 26, 2006

Maltese are Such Happy Campers!


<--- Maria Borg Cardona Camilleri of Mjarr** singing:
"The hills are alive with the sound of corruption,
with the sound of MPs pocketing thousands of Liri.
Though I've had no wage increase since I left college,
I go to the hills when I am tax weary.
As if the Eco tax and the fuel surcharge just werent enough,
they add inheritance tax and petrol's increased by three
but I dont mind because we are such happy people
cos we got great weather and a huge extended family.."
(**names have been changed for security purposes)


I recently found the following comment on another Malta-related blog: "....researchers have found that when it comes to happiness, Malta is ranked first followed by Denmark, Switzerland and Colombia!"
Ok this has to be the funniest piece of information I've come across since...since the Gozitans reported sightings of the Great Yeti aka Bigfoot (it transpired that it was only Billy Connelly). I mean PU-LEEZ, who conducted this research? A former resident of the Betty Ford Drug Rehabilitation Centre? No wait, I've just located the source ...it was the handiwork of one Dutch Professor Ruut Veenhoven. Seems my guess wasnt far off.
"The new index uses data from 100,000 people in 90 countries who were asked, on a scale of 1-10, how happy they were."
Oh. Wow. Probably what isnt mentioned is that of the 100,000 interviewed, only 2000 were Maltese, half of whom happened to be Maltese Members of the European Parliament living in Bruxelles (and wouldnt YOU be a happy camper if you could charge a luxury cruise trip from Mexico to "MEP travelling expenses" as one globetrotting Maltese MEP is suspected of doing recently). As for the other half, they were probably the habitual drinkers down at the local Nationalist Party Kazzin (Club) and were just starting up a hearty rendition of the popular pub song "Ten Green Bottles Hanging on a Wall..."
Prof. Rehabilitated Ruut Veen Haavseenbettadays: "...on a scale of 1-10 how happy are you sir?"
NPK supporter: "....ten..ahdar..Budweezar..fliexken..fuq il fuq-ing hajt......"
Prof. RVH: "...thankyou sir.And if I may say so, thats a very jolly national anthem you've got.."

"Malta is very small so the family networks are very tight" .. "Wherever you are, you are never alone. The weather is beautiful, there's excellent education and a very good welfare state. There isn't a chasm between the poor so you never see beggars" [The Sunday Times, January 8th]

Malta small? I s'pose on a rock where everyone lives within spitting distance of each other, you could say its small. Judging by the amount of spitting that goes on, the Maltese like to communicate with their neighbours. "Wherever you are, you're never alone"...well of course, there's bound to be a traffic warden nearby. "..the family networks are very tight"...so you know who NOT to go to for a loan..."There isnt a chasm between the poor so you never see beggars"...I dont understand that statement; does it mean the poor arent divided among themselves? (Well of course not! They're Brothers in Bankruptcy! They're Sisters of the Strapped-For-Cash!). True, you never see beggars in Malta- maybe thats because they all know someone who works in the Dole Department.

In my estimation, the current overall national mood (barring members of government) is one of anxiety and depression. Darn tarnation, life sucks since the petrol hikes cos now you have to think twice before indulging in that national pastime: the Sunday afternoon SABS (see & be seen) cruise along Sliema's Sunset Strip! Before, when you said you were running on six cylinders, it was understood to mean you were a high-flying party animal - now it means the number of gas cylinders you have to use at home to ward off hypothermia cos you cant afford electric heating anymore! However, inspite of all that, we Maltese are generally a happy bunch. Probably the cumulative effect of the government spiking the drinking water with endorphins (i.e. the brain chemical that induces a sense of euphoria even if you happen to be on a luxury cruise up ShitsCreek).

Comments:
Your post 'No sex please, I'm pondering' has been submitted by moi at the Blog Carnival at http://maltagirl.typepad.com/diverse_ramblings/
Go have a look.
 
how bloggy brill of you! thanks bro - you're clearly a blogger of dubious tastes with a fine tuned humour-o-meter ... but I knew that anyway judging from your x-ray mugshot!
 
Hi outloadandproud, I'm glad Coemgen did that because that's where I first heard of your blog!

Coemgen, sorry but the aim of the Carnival is for bloggers to submit their own posts - last month's "nominate other people" thing was a special edition. But outloudandproud, it would be great to have you join in the fun :-)
 
well thanks DUDE for the drum roll..glad you like the writings of this bonkers blogger…seems we must drink the same brand of household detergent! Heh heh. Besides being another household substance abuser, whats YOUR story? heh heh
Cheers
 
hi outloudandproud! We seem to be of the same pezza u and me....As for drinking household detergent, well for me its wine and whiskey. Hubby says that they are good to disinfect the insides...so maybe they are detergents...Anyway, liked your blogg. But one thing I must say. Being married to a Dane myself I think I can actually give my expert views. When I read that article I had a good laugh. No wonder that Danes are so happy. They are so laid back they are nearly horizontal, and I can assure you that every self respecting dane has a distiller tucked away in a basement of their house. :D
 
I'm glad you submitted the pondering entry for the blog carnival. That 'event' is held every new month......new month!!! he he, i like it.
 
hsejjes STOP that substance abuse..or change brands! I'm concerned about you...Danes? Who, Saddam? A Drongo maybe, but not a Dane last time I checked the International Register of Megalomaniac Monsters.Were you referring to the Dr.Doin-da-Dutchie? Or the fact that the Danes came in 2nd on the Happy Bunnies Database. Aha so thats the Danish secret to eternal happiness...a basement distillery! Fortunately the Malts dont (yet)have to make their own basement brew cos grog is still relatively cheap...they just have to drink more of it cos their threshhold for political crap is rapidly maxing out
 
coemgen...lol...I like it, out with the old, in with the new..every month...jeezus just imagine if i did that with my clothes...well no question about it, I'd be facing divorce proceedings!
 
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Maltese are Such Happy Campers!

<--- Maria Borg Cardona Camilleri of Mjarr** singing:
"The hills are alive with the sound of corruption,
with the sound of MPs pocketing thousands of Liri.
Though I've had no wage increase since I left college,
I go to the hills when I am tax weary.
As if the Eco tax and the fuel surcharge just werent enough,
they add inheritance tax and petrol's increased by three
but I dont mind because we are such happy people
cos we got great weather and a huge extended family.."
(**names have been changed for security purposes)


I recently found the following comment on another Malta-related blog: "....researchers have found that when it comes to happiness, Malta is ranked first followed by Denmark, Switzerland and Colombia!"
Ok this has to be the funniest piece of information I've come across since...since the Gozitans reported sightings of the Great Yeti aka Bigfoot (it transpired that it was only Billy Connelly). I mean PU-LEEZ, who conducted this research? A former resident of the Betty Ford Drug Rehabilitation Centre? No wait, I've just located the source ...it was the handiwork of one Dutch Professor Ruut Veenhoven. Seems my guess wasnt far off.
"The new index uses data from 100,000 people in 90 countries who were asked, on a scale of 1-10, how happy they were."
Oh. Wow. Probably what isnt mentioned is that of the 100,000 interviewed, only 2000 were Maltese, half of whom happened to be Maltese Members of the European Parliament living in Bruxelles (and wouldnt YOU be a happy camper if you could charge a luxury cruise trip from Mexico to "MEP travelling expenses" as one globetrotting Maltese MEP is suspected of doing recently). As for the other half, they were probably the habitual drinkers down at the local Nationalist Party Kazzin (Club) and were just starting up a hearty rendition of the popular pub song "Ten Green Bottles Hanging on a Wall..."
Prof. Rehabilitated Ruut Veen Haavseenbettadays: "...on a scale of 1-10 how happy are you sir?"
NPK supporter: "....ten..ahdar..Budweezar..fliexken..fuq il fuq-ing hajt......"
Prof. RVH: "...thankyou sir.And if I may say so, thats a very jolly national anthem you've got.."

"Malta is very small so the family networks are very tight" .. "Wherever you are, you are never alone. The weather is beautiful, there's excellent education and a very good welfare state. There isn't a chasm between the poor so you never see beggars" [The Sunday Times, January 8th]

Malta small? I s'pose on a rock where everyone lives within spitting distance of each other, you could say its small. Judging by the amount of spitting that goes on, the Maltese like to communicate with their neighbours. "Wherever you are, you're never alone"...well of course, there's bound to be a traffic warden nearby. "..the family networks are very tight"...so you know who NOT to go to for a loan..."There isnt a chasm between the poor so you never see beggars"...I dont understand that statement; does it mean the poor arent divided among themselves? (Well of course not! They're Brothers in Bankruptcy! They're Sisters of the Strapped-For-Cash!). True, you never see beggars in Malta- maybe thats because they all know someone who works in the Dole Department.

In my estimation, the current overall national mood (barring members of government) is one of anxiety and depression. Darn tarnation, life sucks since the petrol hikes cos now you have to think twice before indulging in that national pastime: the Sunday afternoon SABS (see & be seen) cruise along Sliema's Sunset Strip! Before, when you said you were running on six cylinders, it was understood to mean you were a high-flying party animal - now it means the number of gas cylinders you have to use at home to ward off hypothermia cos you cant afford electric heating anymore! However, inspite of all that, we Maltese are generally a happy bunch. Probably the cumulative effect of the government spiking the drinking water with endorphins (i.e. the brain chemical that induces a sense of euphoria even if you happen to be on a luxury cruise up ShitsCreek).

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