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Monday, January 23, 2006

No Sex please, I'm Pondering

Here's a ponder-inducing anecdote I just gotta use to introduce my Thought For The Day (hmmm its Monday and I actually am capable of coming up with a thought! Geez I'm on a roll this week!) Here goes:
>>In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who
had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time.
She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Muslims and the Jews. I pray for all
the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in
safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a f*ckin' brick wall.">>

LOL......which leads me to ponder (I do ponder a lot and when I do, others may derisively say "oh there she goes again with her eyes-glazed-over-having-a-brain-fart-moment" but they're just jealous cos they dont have a Black Belt in Pon Da Wing like I do)....anyhow, I am pondering whether it isnt the same for everyone....Jews wailing at the Wall (not Pink Floyd's) Christians making penance before a plaster cast (which looks like its been used for target practice at a Knife-Throwers Convention), Muslims reverently uttering the 99 million Names of God (was that because His parents couldnt mutually agree on a name to pick?)....are all their spiritual sms's being delivered or are they getting stockpiled on some great celestial server cos the Redeemer, I mean the Receiver isnt in a position to respond? Lets look at how people rationalise prayer.
If you dial up on the Divine Hotline and your prayer is answered, wow its evidence that it works and there is someone listening on the line. If your prayer isnt answered, well maybe it's because it wasnt such a smart thing to ask for in the first place, but you being a dumb mortal wouldnt know that. Maybe you didnt pray hard enough...no wait! Its all a test of your patience! How long can you wait it out and STILL believe someone will respond to your plea. A bit like dialing in to the answering machine of the Malta Water Services Corporation...press 1 for billing enquiries....please hold...press 3 if you are incontinent and you will be redirected to a line with less tinkle-tinkle background music....please hold...press 5 to know your status in the call queue.....11,344,000???
Here's my take on prayer-now I do believe in a creative force larger than myself (that would make it size 16 and up) that created me in a moment of rashness, but IT isnt OUT THERE...IT is INSIDE US and we dont need a Church or Temple or Mosque to act as a Grand Central Switchboard to process our prayers. Those institutions are simply Glorified Employment Agencies...Public Monitoring Headquarters....Guilt Trip Theme Parks. We can answer our own prayers through the ...wait for it....The Power of Positive Thinking...! (Yeah someone else published the book but the bitch must have raided my loo and swiped my huge stash of scribbled-on bog-rolls.....yes i do have some of my most Enlightened Moments of Pondering while in the loo...case of out with the poo, in with the new?...mind and body definitely being in synch there). Now isnt that just so lavatorially facetious! Call it Being British. Which I am...half British. And half Irish. And half Maltese. And thats not even taking into account any of my sub-personalities. Together we do have a slight language barrier problem but we very resourcefully resort to communicating via sign language...I actually know thousands of index finger positions. Eat your heart out Karma Sutra!

Comments:
Oh my! You sure made me laugh but I agree with you on most of the religion reasoning.

"oh there she goes again with her eyes-glazed-over-having-a-brain-fart-moment"

Tee hee hee:))

I'LL DEFINITELY BE VISITING
 
glad you liked it, thanks for commenting and I am very happy to be providing this medical service for free...as we all know laughter is the best medicine and the best part is we dont have to pay N.I. contributions to receive it! :)..maybe I should call my blog "Dr.Laughingoutloudandproud"..bit of a mouthful isnt it..but then so am I! heheheh
 
*Ponders* mmmmm...


"Which I am...half British. And half Irish. And half Maltese."


You might be a Doc but you can't bloody get your math right can you? :P
 
Look Mr. CleverClogs I cant reveal myself to be Totally Perfect or I'd be the envy of everyone wouldnt I...having said that it sounds contradictory to the Secret Mandate of International Exhibitionists (2 b d nvy of every1)..oh well sod that I'm an Individualist Exhibitionist..humble too in my moments..i accept my weenie flaws (emphasis on weenie - the masculine aspect of my personality is expressing itself...SIZE DOES MATTER)
 
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No Sex please, I'm Pondering
Here's a ponder-inducing anecdote I just gotta use to introduce my Thought For The Day (hmmm its Monday and I actually am capable of coming up with a thought! Geez I'm on a roll this week!) Here goes:
>>In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who
had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time.
She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Muslims and the Jews. I pray for all
the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in
safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a f*ckin' brick wall.">>

LOL......which leads me to ponder (I do ponder a lot and when I do, others may derisively say "oh there she goes again with her eyes-glazed-over-having-a-brain-fart-moment" but they're just jealous cos they dont have a Black Belt in Pon Da Wing like I do)....anyhow, I am pondering whether it isnt the same for everyone....Jews wailing at the Wall (not Pink Floyd's) Christians making penance before a plaster cast (which looks like its been used for target practice at a Knife-Throwers Convention), Muslims reverently uttering the 99 million Names of God (was that because His parents couldnt mutually agree on a name to pick?)....are all their spiritual sms's being delivered or are they getting stockpiled on some great celestial server cos the Redeemer, I mean the Receiver isnt in a position to respond? Lets look at how people rationalise prayer.
If you dial up on the Divine Hotline and your prayer is answered, wow its evidence that it works and there is someone listening on the line. If your prayer isnt answered, well maybe it's because it wasnt such a smart thing to ask for in the first place, but you being a dumb mortal wouldnt know that. Maybe you didnt pray hard enough...no wait! Its all a test of your patience! How long can you wait it out and STILL believe someone will respond to your plea. A bit like dialing in to the answering machine of the Malta Water Services Corporation...press 1 for billing enquiries....please hold...press 3 if you are incontinent and you will be redirected to a line with less tinkle-tinkle background music....please hold...press 5 to know your status in the call queue.....11,344,000???
Here's my take on prayer-now I do believe in a creative force larger than myself (that would make it size 16 and up) that created me in a moment of rashness, but IT isnt OUT THERE...IT is INSIDE US and we dont need a Church or Temple or Mosque to act as a Grand Central Switchboard to process our prayers. Those institutions are simply Glorified Employment Agencies...Public Monitoring Headquarters....Guilt Trip Theme Parks. We can answer our own prayers through the ...wait for it....The Power of Positive Thinking...! (Yeah someone else published the book but the bitch must have raided my loo and swiped my huge stash of scribbled-on bog-rolls.....yes i do have some of my most Enlightened Moments of Pondering while in the loo...case of out with the poo, in with the new?...mind and body definitely being in synch there). Now isnt that just so lavatorially facetious! Call it Being British. Which I am...half British. And half Irish. And half Maltese. And thats not even taking into account any of my sub-personalities. Together we do have a slight language barrier problem but we very resourcefully resort to communicating via sign language...I actually know thousands of index finger positions. Eat your heart out Karma Sutra!

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